Friend Finder

My Facebook page is always asking me to use the "Friend Finder" feature. This requires me to enter the password for my e-mail account so that FB can access my address book. FB would then invite all these people to become my friends. Why would I want to do that? The people in my e-mail address book are already friends -- or at least people I've interacted with in some way -- so why would I need to find them?

Which made me start thinking about friends.

Over the years, I've worked with people I really liked, and we considered each other friends. Sometimes we even socialized together outside of the work place. But invariably, when I left that job and went to another, very few of these people remained friends. When I see them again, we are friendly but we have grown apart. What held us together was the job; it's what we had in common, it's what we talked about, it's what the relationship was based on. It's not that I no longer like them; it's that we were really just friendly business colleagues.

But always, among these work friendships, real friendships have developed, friendships that have lasted the change of jobs. Friendships that grew because there was more to them than a shared work environment and shared joys & concerns on the job.

So what makes a friend? Of course there's that indefinable something that makes me like this person and not that one. And sometimes, I come to like someone after longer acquaintance. A friend is also someone I enjoy being around, enjoy spending time with, enjoy doing things with. We have shared interests, and I believe, shared values.

But friends are also those who will tell me the truth in love, and from whom I can hear the truth because I know that they love me. They are the ones I can call when I really need to talk to somebody. They will always listen and always care.

Friends are people who have seen me at my worst and still are willing to put up with me. And vice versa.

A story that I've used in sermons (sorry, I don't remember where it came from): A little boy is getting ready for bed, and his Dad comes to tuck him in. As Dad leaves the room, he turns out the light and starts to close the door. The little boy cries, "Daddy, leave the door open. I'm scared." The Dad comes back to the boy and says, "Don't be scared, God is with you." "But, Daddy, I need God with skin on!"

I need God with skin on, too. And I think in a lot of ways, that's what friends are.

Sheepdog Joye